Finding Friends in a New City

stock photosHey guys! Happy Monday! I feel like the summer just flew by and I barely had a chance to use my pineapple pool float. Or go to overpriced brunches every Sunday. First world problems, right? Summers in Texas are so different from summer back in Maryland. The heat here just blows me away! I’ve lived in Dallas for just over a year now and I wanted to share a bit about my time here and the struggle to make friends in a new city!

Loneliness of Not Knowing Anyone

I moved with my boyfriend to Dallas in search of better paying jobs and cheaper cost of living. Also, David’s from Texas so that kinda drew us here anyway. My first 6 months here were nothing short of lonely. Sure, I had David but that’s pretty much it. I didn’t know a soul here and it sucked. I’ve spent my entire life on the East Coast and all of my friends are there. It was a big deal to pack up my stuff and leave all that I ever knew. Plus, it’s hard to make friends as an adult. It just is.

Difficulty in Finding Friends

My first job here in Dallas gave me the security of having great coworkers who became friends. They were really open and invited me into their work group. That part made my days easier, but finding friends outside of work proved a bit more challenging. I thought blogging would open up opportunities to get to know other Dallas bloggers and it did to a degree. However, Β I noticed pretty quickly that these girls already had their groups of friends and weren’t particularly open to outsiders.

Don’t get me wrong, bloggers I met up with at events or knew through Instagram were kind and polite, but that’s different from being friendly and inviting. I was reminded by another blogger that finding friendships within the blogging community is difficult because it’s constant competition between bloggers. And I can definitely see that.

Learning to Find Friends

Eventually, I found a few blogger gal pals that I could get coffee with and bounce ideas off of. A lot of them I found through Style Collective! One of the smartest things I ever did was try out an app called Shapr. Shapr is an app that connects you to other professionals in your city looking for similar opportunities. In my profile, I said I was looking for freelance work and new friends in town. That’s how I met Laila, my fabulous fashion PR friend who puts up with my tiring shopping trips!

I also found that getting out and doing things within the community opens up a whole world of opportunity. The difficult part is just getting out of the house to go do something. Dallas is a fairly transient place and there’s a lot of new people here. The challenge is finding them and getting outside of your comfort zone. Nothing is ever easy though, right?

dallas fashion blogger

 

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16 Responses to Finding Friends in a New City

  1. Shaffi says:

    Just moved to a new neighborhood. Thank you for sharing this with us

  2. Catie Beth says:

    Just moved to Houston! Loved reading your post and thanks for the tips πŸ™‚

  3. LaToya C says:

    I’m glad you’ve been able to connect with some SC sisters! I know it’s hard. Thank you for being so open!

  4. This is so helpful! You are strong and wise. I am really glad you are sharing this! I am really touched and sending good vibes your way!
    xo Debbie | http://www.tothineownstylebetrue.com

  5. I’ve never heard of Shapr! Def checking that out. Finding new friends at this age is so difficult!

    Vanessa | http://www.vanessarenae.com

  6. Krissy @thoughtfullyunraveled says:

    I moved to a new state 2 1/2 years ago and went through this same thing. Definitely challenging as an adult when you’re not in school to put yourself out there.

  7. Linda says:

    Love this! Finding friends is hard for me because of my anxiety, but I try to manage!

    Linda

  8. Ilse says:

    I moved from Arizona to Connecticut 5 years ago and man was it hard! Finding a group of women that are motivated by the same things as I am and in the same space (i.e. blogging, beauty, fashion etc) helped me find great friendships.

    Thanks for the post!
    xo,
    Ilse
    http://www.livelearnluxeit.com

  9. I love this! Thank you so much for sharing. I actually really needed to read this because I just moved from London to Austin and am looking to make some new friends. I’ll see if Austin has a good SC circle. πŸ™‚

  10. Jana says:

    That’s why I love StyleCollective. I think the bloggers who invest in this group are a little different than some of the other blogger groups I’ve been a part of. I can totally relate with this post so much, it’s hard to find friends when you are older. I’m glad to hear you’ve found Laila! I’ve also heard of an app called Bumble BFF if you’re looking for another way to meet some friends πŸ™‚ | xo Jana http://www.janastyleblog.com

  11. mandyarraiz says:

    It is so hard to find good friends in a big city! I love this article. I always feel like classes and work are always a good way!!

  12. Emily says:

    Finding good friends is definitely hard!

  13. Amy says:

    I love that you are talking about this. Finding true friendships is hard. Can’t wait to catch coffee soon!!

  14. susie40s says:

    I’m sorry that your first six months were lonely. I think that is a common problem in a big city. It sounds like you have made some nice friends from work and Laila sounds like a nice friend to have. It is still not the same as having friends who have known you forever but we are such a transient society that it is just the way it is now. You sound like a wonderful person who can make friends anywhere you go! You go, girl!

  15. Aww, sorry you’re having a tough time. It *is* harder to make new friends as an adult. I always have that same feeling of “Oh, they already HAVE friends,” so I don’t really make that “outside of work/class/etc” effort. You seem like a very warm and caring person, I’m sure people will eventually be drawn to you πŸ™‚

  16. In a city as large as Dallas, there are tons of people in your very same situation! Now that you are settled in your chosen city, its time to start chatting up potential pals at your nearby Starbucks, your exercise class – yeah, Soul Cycle!, running or walking group. Local museum with a young collectors group? Church group? Whatever your passion is, you are sure to find a couple girls who have recently moved to Dallas and are looking for new pals. Start a club for avid movie goers or a book group. You already know what you have to do – brave that Southern heat and go find some friends – they are looking for you too!
    Very sweet post – anyone that has moved to a new city knows what you are saying – thanks for sharing!

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