Last night, my mom, sister, and I went out on the town for a little shopping and a bite to eat at Applebee’s. My hometown really isn’t a “town” in the traditional sense. Where I’m from, we go by counties. In my county, we have a large population of people but not a large variety of things to do at night, especially on the weekends. The local chain restaurants got smart and decided to hire DJs on Saturday nights to host karaoke. Believe it or not, this brings in a very large crowd of people from all age groups. We wanted to know what the big draw was so we went and ordered some mozzarella sticks and then sat back to watch the action.
Before I go any further, let me just say that my little slice of Maryland isn’t totally like this, only the few that come out of the wood works at night are. We might refer to them as “the people of Wal-Mart.” Not surprising considering that Wal-Mart shares a parking lot with Applebee’s here. I barely got in the door before I noticed an unfortunate trend: sweatpants at the bar. Really? And with your orthopedic shoes and oversized hoodie? Yes, you are a Wal-Mart shopper. I, myself am a proud Target snob.
Starting off the night right, I had the pleasure of seeing and hearing a man singing (off key of course) a song to his old high school girl friend. I didn’t think his concert would ever end. After he had finished singing, his lady friend came up to the microphone and explained that they had just rekindled their romance after many years. They were both in their late 50s so it was many, many years. The woman sang a weird song about how she lost her man but still had all his important possessions like his class ring (she actually held up a class ring for all to see). The weirdest part was the way she sang, it was as if she was making a speech. The waiter caught me recording it on my iPhone. Busted.
The Grand Finale
The best part of the evening was right before we left. A rather robust woman who had drunk one too many beers, decided that in all her sweat pant glory, she was going to go up and sing “I Believe I Can Fly.” I don’t think I’ve ever seen a performance quite like it. Using every part of her body (I’m trying to help you visualize), she serenaded us with Britney Spears-like moans and groans and hand motions throughout the song. I looked over at the table next to us and a man had tears rolling down his cheeks he was laughing so hard. There’s really nothing I can say that will do this act justice. You just can’t make this stuff up!
Despite the fact that I live relatively close to the nation’s capital, there isn’t much to do around here so people resort to this. For entertainment purposes only did I show up at this quaint gathering. I’m hoping a theme-night is in the works. How does an oldies night sound?