Why It’s So Hard for Women to Feel Beautiful

Photo credit: Luisa’s Secret Photography

When I started writing Witty n Pretty, I just wanted to write and enjoy a fun hobby. Everyone needs something to do during their down time, and this was my favorite thing to occupy my time with. However, when I started getting more into blogging and learning all that I could, my motivations changed. I had these big dreams that I’d be an overnight success, a fabulous Instagram ‘it’ girl, and be making crazy money through my blog. I hired a photographer to take my photos like the ones above so I’d be more appealing. I started analyzing what other, more popular bloggers were doing differently from me, which quickly turned into comparing myself to them.

To make a long story short, my self-esteem took a downward turn. Blogging, while still something I enjoy, isn’t always enjoyable. When you begin to look around at more successful, more beautiful women, it isn’t shocking to feel the pain of insignificance. But this led me to another realization- why do women have such a hard time feeling and believing that they’re beautiful?Β 

Women Focus on the Flaws

When women look in the mirror, they focus in on the things they hate! For me, it’s my hereditary double chin and stomach. I can’t tell you how much I hate both of those things, so I go through my day knowing that both of those things are following me around everywhere I go. For other women it might be puffy cheeks, large pores, or circles under their eyes. Whatever the insecurity is, we women zero in on it and can’t, and more importantly, won’t forget about it.

Women Get Jealous

This is true for every human being but when it comes to beauty, women take jealousy to a whole new level. Scroll through your Instagram feed and try not to compare yourself to another girl, seriously just try. It’s hard isn’t it? When I’m cruising through the ‘gram I get jealous of another girl’s gorgeous makeup, perfectly formed eyebrows, big hair, or how thin she is. Frankly, sometimes I can’t shake that feeling and I start to feel inferior or worse- unworthy. Jealousy makes your heart bitter.Β 

Women Feel the Need for Approval

We all want to feel accepted and loved for who we are. It’s just a human need. But approval comes in many forms. For some women, we need our boyfriends or husbands to tell us we’re beautiful in order for us to believe it ourselves. For others, we want society to tell us that. This could be through the amount of Instagram followers a girl has or how many likes her selfie gets. Whatever the source of approval is, women often need it before they’ll accept that they are beautiful.

Final Thoughts and Self-Worth

I’m not here to solve a problem that literally every woman has dealt with at some point in her life. I’m here just to highlight that you aren’t alone in the feeling of insecurity. I have such a hard time looking in the mirror and saying “wow, God made me beautiful!” It drives me crazy that I can’t do that and it’s something I need to work on. Women should love themselves for who they are but we don’t. And that’s why it’s hard to feel beautiful.

dallas fashion blogger



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18 Responses to Why It’s So Hard for Women to Feel Beautiful

  1. an interesting read and i love your dress πŸ™‚

  2. It’s really not hard for me to feel beautiful, and maybe it’s because I do almost none of the things that are listed here. I don’t even really think of it as feeling beautiful, to me, I feel good when I feel “like myself” and when I’m able to come up with an outward expression of what my self feels like that day. But I guess really it is the same feeling as feeling beautiful. I don’t really feel jealous over other people’s looks- modeling and acting when I was younger taught me that there’s always someone prettier than you somewhere. I don’t really need approval.. some of my favorite outfits are things that I love, but other people react to with barely vieled distaste or lack of “getting it”. And I have some things that my husband likes, but aren’t really really me, so if I wear them, he says I’m beautiful, but I don’t really feel good. I do think that it’s all about having a sense of self and saying for yourself what you like.

    Of course, translating that into blogging isn’t so easy for me. I know exactly who I am wearing clothes.. but I guess I don’t know how to distill myself into blog form nearly as well. So I’m still trying things, including some things that don’t feel great to me, and trying to see if there’s a thing that’s so myself that the page views don’t matter.

  3. You are just adorable. The winds of fate are fickle. Who knows why some blogs hit like lightning and others are destined to be lovely with a nice niche but they dont strike gold.

  4. I would love to meet you one day! I think you are lovely! This message tells me that not only are you gorgeous but you have a heart, wisdom and depth! I deal with insecurities as well. It was one of the reasons that almost stopped me from starting this journey. I can be so hard on myself! But, so far I am learning to love myself for all my flaws and it is my imperfections that I embrace that really make me stand out! Thank you so much for sharing your voice! God bless!
    xo Debbie | http://www.tothineownstylebetrue.com

  5. laurajaneatelier says:

    Such a cute dress, I love it with the yellow

  6. shannon silver says:

    Great post, Liz! It’s so easy to get caught up in the comparison trap – the best advice I’ve ever read on blogging was from The Skinny Confidential & her emphasis on staying in your own lane. It really helps for the self-esteem too – in fact, that’s why I love blogging as it’s a great way to showcase YOUR individualism!! xx Shannon || http://www.champagneatshannons.com

  7. This was such a beautiful and thoughtful post. i LOVE LOVE LOVED IT!


  8. This is so true, we need to get over the inhibitions of the mind and just make ourselves feel confident and beautiful.
    It is so important!

  9. Shannon says:

    Whoa- strong words! All so true!

  10. I always get saddened by women who feel the need to turn to drastic measures to feel confident, but at the end of the day we’re all beautiful!

    Vanessa | http://www.vanessarenae.com

    • Liz says:

      Me too, Vanessa! Like a nose job or something- it’s not necessary for most people. We’re built the way we are for a reason!

  11. this message is super beautiful! thanks for posting this beautiful!

    Courtney Bentley || http://www.starsystemz.com

  12. susie40s says:

    Beautifully written! It is so hard not to compare ourselves. I have a co-worker who is a rather large girl but wears all the latest fashions, does different wigs, and you can just tell she feels good about herself. I don’t know why she doesn’t feel self-conscious! If I wore what she wears, I would be very uncomfortable. She pulls it off though! What is it that makes these ladies different??

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